Beirne Boys Don't Wear Jean Shorts



Beirne boys don't wear jean shorts.  It's as simple as that.  I casually mentioned once that I found a pair of Baby Gap jean shorts for Colin, and Pat made it very clear that it was not an option.  I argued that he was only a few months old.  Didn't matter.  No jean shorts. Period.  End of story. Game over.

** Disclaimer: I don't want to offend anyone that does dress their child in jean shorts.  You just have to understand there is a long legacy here, and Beirne boys are especially stubborn in terms of "fashion" (which I purposely put in quotation marks...)

So I dug through our photo archives...  Surely growing up Pat had to have rocked jean shorts at some point.  Lo and behold, I could not find a single picture of Pat (or any of his brothers) wearing jean shorts.  Apparently this rule has been in effect since the early 80's...

** Disclaimer #2:  Now, for the record, with eight kids in the family there aren't many pictures of Pat in general, so I cannot guarantee that there is no photographic evidence of jean shorts. But still.  Impressive that in the box of photos I looked though, not a trace!

Pat embraced his "signature" look early on.

There were PLENTY of shots of Pat in super short, neon shorts.  But, no jean shorts.

Not much has changed in the wardrobe department...



Berine boys live by a strict dress code.

It's simple: To dress like a Beirne boy follow these easy rules:

1. No jean shorts (obviously)
2. Khaki shorts/pants are preferred. Ironed. Even the teeny tiny baby ones - Ironed. Don't want to iron?  Skip to #3
3. If khaki's aren't perfectly pressed, jeans are acceptable. Jeans should be a mid-dark wash, not too baggy. Always belted.
4. Approved footwear includes New Balance tennis shoes (gray), boat shoes/topsiders, and crocs (age 10 and under only please).
5. Socks should be worn at all times. Beirne feet are white as white can be - since they never see sunlight. Colin battles this rule, and refuses to wear socks, even in the middle of winter. I don't think Jack has ever worn socks.  Need to work on this one.
6. Polo shirts in all colors except: pink or purple (no shade or variation is ever appropriate). Bonus points if the polo shirt has an Irish logo/symbol.
7. No camo, ever.
8. Do I even need to clarify that no tank tops are on this list? It should be assumed. 
9. V-necks should be purchased with caution.  Generally only acceptable if a solid color sweater, to be worn with a button down shirt.
10. Sweaters with large stripes across the chest.  No.
11. Button down shirts in shades of blue, green, and orange.  Only checks, light plaid.  No stripes.  Again, pink, purple, salmon...not a chance.
12. It goes without saying that all button down shirts/polos should be tucked in at all times, and worn with a white t-shirt underneath.  You get a pass on this rule until you are five. 

Pat & Colin modeling the "signature" look of a Beirne boy

 Then there's Jack.  The final rule truly applies to him:

"Pants Optional" Sunday's (a rule enacted during Pat's college years) which allows for PJ pants, mesh shorts, or no shorts at all as appropriate dress- on Sunday only. 

 

 

With Jack's "plump" figure, I generally just send him to daycare in onesies.  No shorts, no pants.  Shorts are just too tough to get on and off those chubby legs.  Not sure how this will work out in the winter...Or when someone calls him out on breaking the code...

But for now, everyday might as well be Sunday in Jack's book.  

Pants Optional Jack